Fall, 2012, a reprieve

We started the trilepil late August, early September.  I remember the note to the ballet teacher, "She may be dizzy for a while, so if she needs to stop, that would be the reason."

I was actually amazed that her teachers were willing to work with her at all.  During the summer, she had several episodes toward the end of class.  Usually after a long jumping sequence.  I don't know if it was the heat, or the jumping, or just time, but Miss Beth got the best seizures of all.

She would email me and let me know.  Or tell me after class.  Always kindly.  Always just concern for her health.  She started researching as well as I did.  "I don't think they're staring spells anymore.  I think they're complex partial."

"she drooled a lot.  Maybe a cup."

"it lasted a long time, she tried to run.  I'm sorry, but I had to hold her tightly to keep her from running into a bathroom stall where I can't see her."

The knot would come back into my stomach.  Was I giving her enough to drink?  Was she getting enough sleep?  Was it my fault? What had we done in her past to cause this?  Did I eat or drink something wrong while pregnant?

It's so hard to see something wrong with my sweet baby, that I can't fix.  No matter what we did, she still had seizures.

So, it was such a relief to hear that another med would work better.  Maybe we just had the wrong one.  Maybe this one will work, and she's had her last episode of her life.  Hope.

And trileptil did work.  No more seizures!!!!  We had months of joy, where my sweetheart was happy and well and glowing.

She tried out for a production that fall.  It was a huge one, that raised millions of dollars for her ballet, so I warned her that epilepsy would probably mean a 'no'.  "It doesn't mean you're no good, or that they don't like you , honey.  It would just be because it's dangerous, and the other children on stage wouldn't know what to do."

My unstoppable girl tried out anyway. My sweet, brave little girl, who didn't give up or quit.  And she was beside herself with joy when she got a part!!!

So, that whole semester meant homeschooling, driving kids to classes, and taking her to rehearsals.  She was tired, but happy.  The joy was back.  The sun was out, and the birds were singing.